Destroying the English Language
by Escaping Life's Realities
Summary: I'm not quite sure what this is. Though in a poor summary attempt: America talks like an incredibly stereotyped American teenager. England is having none of it. I'm so sorry this exists. I think I've died a little on the inside. Warning: Murder of the English language
1. YOLO!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia...  
Warnings: Complete butchering of the English language, it gets** minced.

___I apologize for this in advanced.  
**Note for before reading:**  
__If something is in all caps, it is meant to be read letter by letter, for the acronyms. Otherwise, it is just meant to be read. For example, LOL is L-O-L, but lol is more like loll. _

**_You've been_** _**warned.**_

* * *

Arthur could have sworn he felt something touch his back, but when he turned around, he didn't see anyone or anything that could have done it. After repeating this emotion a few times, he simply growled out, "What do you want?"

"E-England! S-sorry to bother y-you" Matthew said, in his usual hushed tone.

"Oh, hi Matthew! Is something the matter?" Arthur responded, glad he had found the source of the tapping that had gone on for the past ten minutes.

"Y-yes... You may want to le-leave okay?"

"Why?"

"Well be-because..." Matthew's voice got progressively softer until it reached the point where England couldn't hear him anymore.

"Bloody hell, speak up Matthew!"

"Al-Alfred's being influenced by all the sl-slang again and it's really bad this time, and considering h-how you reacted l-last time, you may want to leave!" Matthew yelled, or at least, it would have passed as yell coming from him. From anyone else it would have been a hushed whisper at best. The uncharacteristically loud voice, especially since it wasn't hockey season, had England on guard.

"Thanks for the warning Matthew, but I raised that boy to speak _proper_ English, he already changed enough of the spelling, such as dropping the u from favour, honour, and colour. I think I can handle a bit more than that. Last time it was just LOL, dude, and sup right? That was minimally bearable. It cannot be worse."

"B-but England... it is... It's w-why all the other nations left, and m-most of them d-don't even have English as th-their official language"

"Then I'll have to teach the lad how to speak proper English again," the Englishman responded, wondering how it was that he hadn't noticed the other nations leaving.

"Okay England, b-but I warned y-you..." Matthew made a beeline for the exit, and as soon as the doors closed behind him, Alfred barged in.

"Sup dudes?"

"Alfred, love, I think you mean 'what's up?'," Arthur tried to politely correct the American, he did not understand what Matthew was talking about, it was just like last time. Even then, Arthur was already gritting his teeth. He was not speaking like an acceptable person, he kept pacing around with head down, annoying the Brit even more.

"Whatever dude, it is what it is! Don't act like, like, such a hater!" the American replied flippantly.

"Alfred dear, please stop abusing the Queen's English."

"Queen's English? I only speak 'MURICAN, non-'MURICAN English is so totally ratchet."

"Al, I beg of you, speak like a coherent person."

"KMA! I can speak how I want! Are yo hatin' on me? Totally uncool dawg."

"What?"

"Dude, figure it out! OMGz, it's like totally not hard. Seriously dude, seriously. You just made this like seriously awks for me. Like that feeling of epic fail when chu see tat someone haz put up bad duck face selfies! Have you eva taken a selfie?"

"A what?"

"Are you cray-cray? Do ya not know what a selfie is?"

"Cray-cray?"

"You tots cray-cray right now. That or you tryin' to act like some cray-cray poser hipster or somethin'"

"Alfred, I will cut you off for a week if you don't stop this now."

"SMH! I do what I want! Bcuz I want to do what I want! Yolo dude, yolo. I'll totally win any fight like a boss, cuz I've got so much swag, chu don't know what chu are up 'gainst."

"Two weeks."

"Why do you even care how I talkz to u dawg? 'MURICAN is way more totally complete like legit and stuff than whatever it is you speak. If only cuz 'MURICAN is way more swaggalicious! Your language makes me want to lol! Hashtag epic fail!"

"Three weeks."

"...yolo?" America said, finally looking at England, eyes widening when he sees the complete seriousness in the Brit's eyes.

"One month," Arthur responded, with one caterpillar eyebrow raised, daring America to continue on his current path.

"One month!" Alfred exclaimed, outraged.

"One month," England replied, not relenting on his punishment.

"Please Iggy! Don't do that to me!"

England simply turned and headed towards the exit.

"Wait, Iggy no! I'll do whatever you want!" America pleaded.

England simply glanced back, and right before letting the door closed behind him he said, "I would, but it is what it is."

* * *

**So, over 700 words of minced English. I was close to tears when I wrote this, but when I get harassed by a plot bunny I have no choice... I  
Plot bunny came from an youtube RP :3**

**Please let me know what you think of this merciless slaughter, so you made it this far, review :3 I'll forgive anyone who doesn't this time, because who wants to admit they read this all the way through?**


	2. Chatin' wit Iggs!

**Warning: This fiction is in an online chat format. It terrifies me. I've died a little bit inside.  
This never would have happened if no request was issued for it, so blame the sequesters This is shorter then the previous chapter because I couldn't go on, I was going to cry. I'm keeping this fiction marked as complete.**

* * *

**UK has entered the chat**

**Canada has entered the chat**

Canada: Remember how I mentioned last time that you should avoid America?

UK: Canada, you should use text more often, much harder for you to sneak up on me, and I can hear you!

Canada: Are you listening?

UK: Sure, what about America?

Canada: Well... It's not good... I mean... well.. I was just chatting with him, and well...

UK: Bloody hell, get on with it!

Canada: He's chatting like one of the teens, so it's even worse...

UK: It gets worse? I'll believe it when I see it.

Canada: Fine, but don't come bitching to me when you have to become abstinent for another month.

UK: I forgot how aggressive you can be online sometimes.

**'Murica has entered the chat.**

'Murica: Yo dawgs!

**Canada has left the chat.**

'Murica: Awks, leavin' right when I say hi!

UK: Pardon?

'Murica: Lolz seriously dude?

UK: Speak English.

'Murica: WoW DuDe nOt cOoL

UK: America, what?

'Murica: I 0n1y 5p3ak 'MURICAN

UK: ...

'Murica: Lolz u totz blown away by my awesome.

UK: Why...

'Murica: 'cuz I'm like, awesome, tats y!

UK: I'm crying right now

'Murica: Y?

UK: You're killing the English language.

'Murica: SMH, NGL, IMO ur lingo sux (Shake my head, not gonna [going to] lie, in my opinion)

UK: Why do I talk to you?

'Murica: TBH, IDK (To be honest, I don't know)

UK: Bloody hell, make sense!

'Murica: Wut? I mak p3rf3c7 sense!

UK: No you don't...

'Murica: STFU (Shut the fuck up)! Du u evn know 'MURICAN?

UK: "'MURICAN" is not a language dear.

'Murica: Is 2! Stop being so ratchet! #SOCKS*

UK: Huh?

'Murica: YOLO Igg's, YOLO! (You only live once, Iggy)

UK: Do you want to be cut off again?

'Murica: Dm;hs! (Doesn't matter; had sex)

UK: I have to use google for all of this now, I'll be back shortly

**UK is away.**

'Murica: I hope u come back b4 I haz to go!

**UK is back**

UK: So you don't care if I cut you off? Maybe we'll start at a month this time.

'Murica: Wut? IDK wat u sayin!

UK: My Queen, please forgive me.

'Murica: Wut?

UK: One moment please.

'Murica: 1

'Murica: 2

'Murica: 3

'Murica: 4

'Murica: 5

'Murica: 6

'Murica: 7

'Murica: 8

'Murica: 9

'Murica: Iggy, where u go?

UK: TIL 'MURICAN (Today I learned 'MURICAN)

'Murica: Gud, u sp3ak gud now! B4 u sp3ak real bad.

UK: It pains me to do this but... Unless u s70p, u gunna los3... sexy times... w/ me.

'Murica: Wut! Y?

UK: I don't think I can do this.

'Murica: Wut? Speak 'MURICAN!

UK: I'm crying because of this, but because I love you... S7op or I'm gonna like have to like stop havin' smex with u bcuz I dun like this, 'n u need to stop goin' by 'Murica! U ain't no 'Murica!

**'Murica has changed their user name to America.**

America: Oh, okay Iggy! Why didn't you just say so?

UK: Bloody hell, why do I put up with you?

America: IDK!

UK: That's it. One day!

America: One day?

UK: I have my needs.

* * *

***#SOCKS – spelled out (not including the hash tag), it supposedly sounds like "Eso si que es" which can be seen as "it is what it is" in Spanish.**

**I didn't reread over this story, because I couldn't bring myself to do it. 7 is t if anyone cares.****  
Kuronari : Thanks for reviewing, and as you can see, not anymore!  
Katie-Kat1129 : Thank-you also for reviewing, this actually came from your texting idea  
Guest : Thank-you for reviewing, even though you stay anonymous... Maybe a third chapter could have Poland?**

_The next statement makes me wonder what I am doing with my life.  
**There is a chance that a chapter 3 may exist.**  
_


	3. Like Totally!

**Should I be happy or sad that this story has reviews, favors, and followers?**

**Happy would conflict with my tears.**

**Poland is probably OOC, and I'm putting it in chat format because.**

**Word Count: ~847**

* * *

**Current Chat: Super Sexy Nations Only  
Moderator: 'Murica  
Chat Password: password**

* * *

**UK has entered the chat**

* * *

**Canada has entered the chat**

* * *

**Canada: **England, Alfred is 'MURICA mode again.

**UK: **I think I will take your warning this time.

**Canada: **Sick of abstaining?

**UK: **Maybe...

* * *

**Poland has entered the chat**

* * *

**Canada: **Hey Feliks!

**Poland: **Hi! I'm so like totally excited!

**Canada: **Why?

**Poland: **Because like a new shopping place has opened and it's going to be like, totally cool!

* * *

**Canada has left the chat.**

* * *

**Poland: **Rude!

* * *

**'Murica has entered the chat.**

* * *

**UK is away.**

* * *

**'Murica: **Y duz every1 leave or like go away when I entur a chat now?

**Poland: **I don't, like, know.

**Poland: **But like it totally happens to me when I like bring up totally awesome malls!

**'Murica: **T3ll m3 plz? I n33d mur swag.

**Poland: **Like, seriously?

**'Murica: **Yea!  
**Poland: **Like totally? No one else seemed interested.

**'Murica: **Dun listen 2 dos h8trs!

**Poland: **Like, okay! So like, the other day I got this totally like awesome dress.

**'Murica: **Iz it like uber coolz?

**Poland: **Like totally!

**Poland: **You should totally try it!

**'Murica: **Nty! I totz look smexy w/o it! (No thank-you, I look smart and sexy without it.)

**Poland: **Like, it would totally make you look like totally more awesome!

**'Murica: **Dawg, I like ain't like.. like... in tah dat kind of thing.

**Poland: **Are you like totally sure?

**'Murica: **Chea, I'm totz sure. I said like NT. (Yes, I'm sure. I said no thanks.)

**Poland: **Like please?

**'Murica: **Dood I like already said like NT like 2times!

**Poland: **Like totally, what do I have to change your, like, mind?

**'Murica: **Not gonna happen!

**Poland: **That's like, not cool. What do you have against dresses?

**'Murica: **Nutin', I've worn them b4, but like, they aren't my fave type of cloth3s 2 wear, I'm like jelly of some of urs! (Nothing, I have worn them before, but they aren't my favorite type of clothes to wear, I'm jealous of some of yours.)

**Poland: **Like seriously? Tell me about it!

**'Murica: **NVM (Never mind)

**Poland: **Totally like, not cool!

**'Murica: **Sorrz dude. No offense, but I'm like way cooler then you! We gud bro?

**Poland: **Like totally I like guess.

**'Murica: **We shud like go shoppin' sometime!

**Poland: **Like totally

* * *

**UK is back**

* * *

**UK: **Alfred, I need to tell you something, message me?

**'Murica: **Wut?

**Poland: **Let me like, translate, he like, wants you to like, totally message him like now.

**'Murica: **Oh, y didn' he say so! Brbz Feliks, I've got to like check on him.

**Poland: **That's like totally like okay!  
**'Murica: **I'll just like, open anuther window, k?

**Poland: **Like totally!

* * *

**'Murica is away**

* * *

_**UK has invited you to privately chat in room "Absolutely Invincible British Gentleman"**_

* * *

**Current Chat: Absolutely Invincible British Gentleman**

**Mode****rator: UK**

**Password: Tea&Scones**

* * *

**'Murica has entered the chat.**

* * *

**'Murica: **Seriously Iggs, I'm lmao irl the r00m name. (Seriously Iggy, I'm laughing my ass off in real life at the room name.)

**UK: **Let me try something.

**'Murica: **Wut?

**UK: **Forgive me, my lovely language. I hope I do not die in the process.

**'Murica: **Wut?

**UK: **I've like totz learned how2 speak ur lingo

**'Murica: **Dood, u makin' purfect sense now

**'Murica: **Whatcha doin'?

**UK: **NOYB (None of your business)

**'Murica: **DILLIGAF anyways? (Do I look like I give a fuck anyway?)

**UK: **U wud if u knew.

**'Murica: **Plz tell m3

**UK: **LQTM (Laughing quietly to myself)

**'Murica: **GFY (Go fuck yourself)

**UK: **Maybs I will.

**'Murica: **Wurt O_O

**UK: **IOW ATM IWS (I'll leave this one to either your imagination or you can use Google or Bing if you are into that or Yahoo! if you actually know what that is...)

**'Murica: **I will be right there!

**'Murica: ***I'll like totz be there like ASAP! (I'll be there as soon as possible)

* * *

**Meanwhile, back with Poland:**

* * *

**'Murica is back**

* * *

_**Welcome back to Super Sexy Nations Only! Here's what you missed!**_

* * *

**Poland: **So like, when should we like totally go shopping?

**Poland: **We could like totally go like this weekend!

**Poland: **Maybe we could like get you a dress! It'd be like totally awesome!

**Poland: **Like I think I know the perfect one,

**Poland: **There was this great blue dress at the mall that like totally would like match your eyes

**Poland: **Like perfectly.

**Poland: **I can't like seem to find it online, which is like totally lame, but like we should like go!

**Poland: **But it was like the perfect shade

**Poland: **We just have to like find it.

**Poland: **You would like totally love it

**Poland: **I'm sure of it!

**Poland: **I like can't remember the store!

**Poland: **I need to go shopping more so that I can like remember what they are all like stocking this month!

**Poland: **I only like have the last few months like memorized!

**Poland: **How like crazy is that?

**'Murica: **Poland, I hav 2 like toz go now

**'Murica: **G2g, ttyl, sorrz, kthnksbye (Got to go, talk to you late, sorry, okay thanks bye.)

* * *

**'Murica has left**

* * *

**Poland: **Like lame!

* * *

**So thanks to everyone who reviewed, favored, and followed this story that has never seen a beta's eyes before publishing and barely even mine.**

**Review? Especially on Poland, since I only had time to read a little bit on him before the urge.**

**I've gone numb to the feeling of writing this, and if it makes people happy I'll keep writing, making people happy makes me happy ^_^ The numbness is similar to how if you stick your hand in ice for too long, it stings/hurt. and then after awhile the pain stops and you can't feel your hand entirely so you freak out and try to move your hand, and thankfully you're okay!**

* * *

**I'd like to formally apologize to every single person who speaks English properly, British and World English or American English for the horrors that you have read. Yes, American English is actually a thing.**

**See you next time?**

EDIT: Yes, this is going to be continued ^_^ Also, people seem to be under the impression that I'm not American... I swear to y'all I am!


	4. Num83r5 & 57uff (Numbers & Stuff)

**Chapter 4: Num83r5 & 57uff (Numbers & Stuff)  
Published: October 8th, 2013  
****Dedicated to: Canadatheninja - the only person who asked for it / mentioned they'd like it to be / said it should be continued, and the use of numbers led to this. ! (0n7!nu3d 7h!5 ******** 83(4u53 0f y0ur r3v!3w. ! **907 7h3 !d34 f0r 7h!5 (h4p73r fr0m !7 700! (I continued this story because of your review. I got the idea for this chapter from it too!) Thanks!  


**Word count: 439**

**So it continues... Like I said, before as long as one person wants it and I don't hate it with the entirety of my being, I will probably write it. I didn't say that before? Ooops. **

**This may be the most annoying chapter in this story. I figured I'd make it a journal entry for Alfred... Going to McDonald's and bumping into each other or something. Y'all really need to give me some ideas... Translation included right below this monstrosity!**

**I failed with capital letters this time when typing, forgive me?**

* * *

**Key:**

1 – L  
2 – Z  
3 – E  
4 – A  
5 – S  
7 – T  
8 – B  
9 – G  
0 – O  
! - I (but can also be an exclamation mark...)  
( - C**  
**

* * *

*****Translation included right below this monstrosity!*****

* * *

d34r d!4ry,

70d4y ! w3n7 70 937 m0r3 f00d 47 m(d0n41d'5, ! w3n7 7h3r3 4 107.

! 8ump3d !n70 4r7hur, h0w 4w350m3 !5 7h47?

50 4nyw4y, wh!13 w3 w3r3 7h3r3 h3 w45 1!k3 4(7!n9 v3ry 4r7hur-1!k3, wh!(h w45 14m3! 7h3r3 w45 n0 y010, 4nd m4n w!7h 7h053 3y38r0w5 h3 4!n'7 907 n0 5w49!

! w4n73d 70 1012 r!9h7 !n h!5 f4(3, 8u7 0m92 h3 wud'v3 833n 50 m4d! m4y85 nx7 7!m3.

50 1!k3,

"4r7!3~ wu7 r u d0!n' h3r3?"

"wh47 14n9u493 4r3 y0u 5p34k!n9?"

"100 p3r(3n7 'mur!(4n!"

"4h. 8u993r 0ff."

"8u7 !995, u !n m3h (0un7r!3! !n my m(d'5! y?"

"83(4u53... 83(4u53... 7h3 f00d h3r3 !5 n07 3n7!r31y h0rr!813!"

"y0 dud3! 7h47'5 ju57 1!k3 w04h..."

"4r3 y0u 1!k3 5!(k 0r 5um7!n?"

"!'m 5!(k 0f y0ur 14n9u493!"

"50 u kn0w 'mur!(4n !5 4 14n9u493?"

"wh47?"

"7!1 – 'mur!(4n !5 '((3p73d 8y !995!"

"p4rd0n?"

"70d4y ! 1urn3d!"

"4h, ! 533. 70d4y y0u 134rn3d?"

"7h47 u 7hunk 'mur!(4n !5 4 14n9u493! j332 !995, (47(h up 0n d4 1!n90!"

"..."

"!'11 1!k3 533 y0u 1473r?"

"..."

"wu7? !'11 8r!n9 7 f0r u!"

"f!n3 10v3, !'11 83 7h3r3."

"y4y! hu92!"

"8u7 0n1y !f y0u 5p34k pr0p3r 8r!7!5h 4nd w0r1d 3n91!5h."

"m4y85 ! 5hu1d r3(0n5!d my 49r33m3n7..."

"4r3 y0u 53r!0u5?"

"8r0, ! n0 k!d 0n y4 80u7 7h47 k!nd 0f 57uff2!"

"d!d y0u ju57 (411 m3 8r0?"

"y4 d09! ! 7072 d!d, wh47(h4 9unn4 du 80u7 !7!"

"p0!n73d1y !9n0r3 y0u."

"14m3~ 7h3n 494!n, ! 9u55 u 41w4y5 h4v3 833n..."

"p4rd0n?"

"u p4rd0n3d dud3, u p4rd0n3d."

"4r3 y0u 8r34k!n9 up w!7h m3?"

"wh47! n0! wh47 w0u1d m4k3 y0u 7h!nk 7h47?"

"n07h!n9!"

"0k 9ud, n0w wh3r3 w3r3 w3 dud3?"

"d4mm!7! ! m34n7: ! 4m 9r3471y 0ff3nd3d 8y y0ur 4(7!0n5!"

"n!(3 7ry !992, 8u7 dud3 !72 700 1473 f0ur u!"

"8u993r 0ff."

"8u7 y? ! 7h0u9h u 1uv m3?"

"! 10v3 y0u wh3n y0u 4r3n'7 83!n9 4 (0mp13731y 4nd u773r !d!07 w!7h 14(k 0f 14n9u493 5k!115."

"8urn! ! ju5 907 r04573d!"

"why 4r3 y0u (3138r47!n9?"

"83(u2 !7'5 u!"

"4nd?"

"w311 (u2 7h47 w45n'7 v3ry 48501u731y !nv!5!813 8r!7!5h 93n713m4n!"

"!nv!n(!813. n07 !nv!5!813. m0r0n."

"8urn!"

"wh47 4r3 y0u 0n?"

"!'m 0n 1!f3 8r0!"

"! w!11 533 y0u 1473r!"

"0k!35! 534 u 1473r!"

4nd 50 7h3n ! 1!k3 707411y r37urn3d 70 my r00m (u2 my r00m !5 1!k3 5up3r2 7072 4w350m3, 20m9 3nvy 1!k3 m3. 50 d!4ry 1!k3, 5up? !995 !5 4 pr377y (001 d09 4nd ! 1uv h!m. 50m37!m35 h3 (4n 8 4 1!7713 p!(ky 7h0u9h... h3'5 m!n3! 84(k 0ff.

57h4p 7ry!n' 74 57341 m4 m4n!

-'mur!(4!

* * *

**Translation (Sort of)**

Dear Diary,

Today I went to get more food at McDonald's, I went there a lot.

I bumped into Arthur, how awesome is that?

So anyway, while we were there he was like acting very Arthur-like, which was lame! There was no YOLO, and man with those eyebrows he ain't got no swag!

I wanted to LOLz right in his face, but OMGz he wud've been so mad! Maybs nxt time.

So like,

"ARTIE~ Wut r u doin' here?"

"What language are you speaking?"

"100 PERCENT 'MURICAN!"

"Ah. Bugger off."

"But Iggs, u in meh countrie! In my McD's! Y?"  
"Because... because... the food here is not entirely horrible!"  
"Yo dude! That's just like woah..."

"Are you like sick or sumtin?"

"I'm sick of your language!"  
"So u know 'MURICAN is a language?"

"What?"

"TIL – 'MURICAN is 'ccepted by Iggs!"

"Pardon?"

"Today I lurned!"  
"Ah, I see. Today you learned?"  
"That u thunk 'MURICAN is a language! Jeez Iggs, Catch up on da lingo!"

"..."

"I'll like see you later?"

"..."

"Wut? I'll bring T for u!"  
"Fine love, I'll be there."

"YAY! HUGZ!"  
"But only if you speak proper British and World English."  
"Maybs I shuld reconsid my agreement..."

"Are you serious?"

"BRO, I no kid on ya bout that kind of stuffz!"

"Did you just call me bro?"  
"Ya dog! I totz did, whatcha gunna du bout it!"  
"Pointedly ignore you."  
"LAME~ Then again, I guss u always have been..."

"Pardon?"  
"U pardoned dude, u pardoned."

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"What! No! What would make you think that?"  
"Nothing!"  
"OK gud, now where were we dude?"  
"Dammit! I meant: I am greatly offended by your actions!"  
"Nice try Iggz, but dude itz too late four u!"  
"Bugger off."  
"But y? I though u luv me?"  
"I love you when you aren't being a completely and utter idiot with lack of language skills."  
"BURN! I jus got ROASTED!"

"Why are you celebrating?"  
"Becuz it's u!"  
"And?"  
"Well cuz that wasn't very Absolutely Invisible British Gentleman!"  
"Invincible. Not invisible. Moron."  
"BURN!"  
"What are you on?"  
"I'm on life bro!"  
"I will see you later!"  
"Okies! Sea u later!"

And so then I like totally returned to my room cuz my room is like superz totz awesome, zOMG envy like me. So diary like, sup? Iggs is a pretty cool dog and I luv him. Sometimes he can b a little picky though... He's mine! BACK OFF.

STHAP TRYIN' TA STEAL MA MAN!  
-'MURICA!

* * *

**At the end he is yelling at something, I don't know, I just liked that line.**  
**I don't know why I wrote America's side of the conversation in slang and England's like an actual person, since u and you sound the same, but whatever... #SOCKS... just kidding**

**_Another apology to the English language  
As well as a hope for a day where people don't shout LOL in public,  
But Emoticons still exist (I love emoticons :3)_**

**See you next time! Which is once I get an idea.**

Oh, I categorize this as a tragedy? Because of the slaughter?

**-ELR**


	5. Wurld Meetin'

**Destroying the English Language:  
Published: October 14th, 2013  
****Chapter 5: World Meeting  
****Word Count: ~771**

**A/N: So there is crazy 'Murican here, but this is mostly just a random crack almost side story like thing because I need y'all to give me your opinions. About what is at the end.  
A/N2: If you manage to read this once and catch all the conversations, congrats. I couldn't even do it when I went to re-read it, so there may be flaws!  
A/N3: FORGIVE ME D:  
A/N4: I've decided to show my un bigotedness about pairings using this fic. So this one has 'hinted' GerIta, and CanPru. The next chapter may have germancest, itacest, something like that. Kay? So if you hate any pairing you may want to leave. Of course, USUK is a constant, but otherwise I'd switch it up! Leave a note if you have a pairing you want thrown in!**

* * *

**America: 'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER**

**Belarus: Marry_Me_Big_Brother!**

**Canada: Oh_Sweet_Maple_Syrup**

**England : Absolutely_Invincible_Gentleman**

**France: French_Food_Is_The_Best**

**Germany: I_Love_Feli_Beer_And_Wurst**

**Hungary: Make_My_Nose_Bleed_Please**

**Italy: Doitsu_Tastes_As_Good_As_Pasta**

**Kumajiro: Kuma**

**Poland: I'm_Like_Totally_Like_Me!**

**Prussia: I'm_More_Awesome!**

**Russia: Become_One_With_Me**

**Sealand: Definitely_Not_Sealand**

* * *

_**Current Chat: Online World Meeting?  
Chat Password: NationzRC001!  
Mods: **'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER! &_ _I_Love_Feli_Beer_And_Wurst_

* * *

**Absolutely_Invincible_Gentleman:** Shall we begin?

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER:** Y?

**Absolutely_Invincible_Gentleman: ***Why?

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER:** I just asked you that!

**Absolutely_Invincible_Gentleman: **Bloody hell, stop butchering my language!

**Definitely_Not_Sealand:** I wouldn't butcher your language, if I was a nation! Not that I'm not a nation.

**Absolutely_Invincible_Gentleman:** Sealand go watch anime or something

**Definitely_Not_Sealand: **I am! It's called another tab eyebrows! Not that I'm Sealand!

**Become_One_With_Me: **Why don't you all just become one with Mother Russia, Da?

**Marry_Me_Big_Brother!: **I'll become one with you!

**Absolutely_Invincible_Gentleman: **Don't call me eyebrows!

**Become_One_With_Me: **N-no! N-no need for that!

**Definitely_Not_Sealand:** Scones-for-brains I do what I want!

**Marry_Me_Big_Brother!: **Are you sure!

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **Lolz sconez-4-brains! That's like clever and like stuff!

**French_Food_Is_The_Best: **Angleterre, your cooking is so bad that that's worse than insulting your beloved queen.

**Definitely_Not_Sealand: **Does that mean you'll acknowledge me!?

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **Naw dawg, you ain't legit enough!

**Absolutely_Invincible_Gentleman: **America kick Sealand!

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **But ta name tag says that dey def not Sealand!

**Oh_Sweet_Maple_Syrup: **Al, stop being so stupid.

**I'm_More_Awesome!: **He can't do that Birdie!

**Absolutely_Invincible_Gentleman: **Love, it's Sealand, trust me, okay?

**Become_One_With_Me: **Just stay away from me Natalia!

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **FINE IGGY JEEZ.

* * *

_**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER has banned Definitely_Not_Sealand from the chat.**_

* * *

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **Who are u? & y du u luv syrup?

**Oh_Sweet_Maple_Syrup: **I'm Canada!

**Kuma: **Who?

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **Canada, u my hat right dude?

**Marry_Me_Big_Brother!: **The internet is getting in the way of our love!

**Oh_Sweet_Maple_Syrup: **The one who feeds you Kumajama!

**Doitsu_Tastes_As_Good_As_Pasta: **Doitsu!

**Oh_Sweet_Maple_Syrup:** What Kumajiki how did you get here anyway?

**Become_One_With_Me: **I don't love you that way!

**I'm_Like_Totally_Like_Me!: **America, when are we like totally going to like go shopping!

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **Um, how 'bout like um.. Whenevs~ I just havta checkin with Iggs though.

**Absolutely_Invincible_Gentleman: **Iggy is bad enough, you had to change it to Iggs?

* * *

_**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER has deemed Absolutely_Invincible_Gentleman to be an offensive name and has changed that user's name to: "Ca11_M3_Iggs_Cuz_I_3_It"**_

* * *

**Kuma: **Mhmmm food time.

* * *

**Kuma has left**

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**Doitsu_Tastes_As_Good_As_Pasta: **Doitsu!

**Ca11_M3_Iggs_Cuz_I_3_It: **ALFRED. Change it back now!

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **NEVER!

**French_Food_Is_The_Best: **How do you deal with him Angleterre?

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **There ain't nutin wrong wit me u French perv! Right Iggs?

**Become_One_With_Me: **STAY AWAY NATALIA!

**Doitsu_Tastes_As_Good_As_Pasta: **Doitsu! Ve, ve~

**Ca11_M3_Iggs_Cuz_I_3_It: **No comment. Love, can you change my name.

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **Ye, shur dawg, 1 mo.

* * *

_**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER has deemed Ca11_M3_Iggs_Cuz_I_3_It to be an offensive name and has changed that user's name to: "I_Sound_Great_Moaning_Alfred"**_

* * *

**I_Sound_Great_Moaning_Alfred: **YOU GIT! I MEANT BACK TO BEFORE!

**Make_My_Nose_Bleed_Please: **Squee~ America hun, leave his name just like that okay?

**French_Food_Is_The_Best: **There's definitely something wrong with him, though that name... Honhonhon...

**Marry_Me_Big_Brother!: **But I want to become one with you!

**I_Sound_Great_Moaning_Alfred: **Shut up Frenchie!

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **kk Hungary!

**Doitsu_Tastes_As_Good_As_Pasta: **Ve~, Doitsu!

**French_Food_Is_The_Best: **At least I can cook!

**I_Sound_Great_Moaning_Alfred: **Hey! What did I do to you Elizabeta?

**Become_One_With_Me: **GO AWAY!

**Make_My_Nose_Bleed_Please: **It's just so cute!

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **Low blo Francis, way below da belt! So like unchill.

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **C! Hungary gets meh! She know where it be !

**Make_My_Nose_Bleed_Please: **What did he just say about me Arthur?

**I_Sound_Great_Moaning_Alfred: **I don't even know. Either way! Alfred change my name back now!

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **But Iggs! U say 2 alwayz du wut ladiez say 2 du! Lady Hungary wants it 2 stay te same!

**I_Sound_Great_Moaning_Alfred: **What's the git saying now?

**I'm_Like_Totally_Like_Me!:** He like totally like said "But England! You say to always do what ladies say to do! Lady Hungary wants it to stay the same."

**I_Love_Feli_Beer_And_Wurst: **Vhat is it Feli?

**Doitsu_Tastes_As_Good_As_Pasta: **Do you like my name! It has you and pasta in it! Ve!

**I'm_More_Awesome!: **West! I'm in my room, bring me a beer?

**Marry_Me_Big_Brother!: **I'll be right over Big Brother!

* * *

**Marry_Me_Big_Brother! has left**

* * *

**Become_One_With_Me: **I must go now... Must find somewhere safe...

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **BYE COMMIE!

* * *

**Become_One_With_Me has left**

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**I_Love_Feli_Beer_And_Wurst: **Yes, it's a lovely name.

**I'm_More_Awesome!: **Hey America, did you know that Canada tops you?

**I_Love_Feli_Beer_And_Wurst: **Get it yourself! What are you doing here anyway mein bruder?

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **Wat! NO 1 TOPS MEH! Except when Iggs is in Pirate mode. Dat's de exception!

**Oh_Sweet_Maple_Syrup: **That's right Gil! Geographically I top Al!

**I'm_More_Awesome!: **West, Birdie invited me!

**I_Sound_Great_Moaning_Alfred: **Argh matey! Get ye booty over here America!

**I_Love_Feli_Beer_And_Wurst: **I see... Behave!

**Doitsu_Tastes_As_Good_As_Pasta: **Doitsu! I made pasta in the shape of your anatomy!

**I'm_More_Awesome!: **Birdie can I come over for pancakes?

**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER:** Du u mean monies booty or booty booty.

**Oh_Sweet_Maple_Syrup: **Sure Gil! Can we use the maple syrup CONVENTIONALLY this time?

**I_Love_Feli_Beer_And_Wurst:** You did what?

**Doitsu_Tastes_As_Good_As_Pasta: **Ve~ Itsa big pasta! Come eat it with me?

**I'm_More_Awesome!: **Maybe... But I liked it felt nice last time!

**I_Sound_Great_Moaning_Alfred: **Just get over here Cabin Boy!

**Oh_Sweet_Maple_Syrup: **Butt you were limping!

**I_Love_Feli_Beer_And_Wurst: **I'll be right there!

**Doitsu_Tastes_As_Good_As_Pasta: **Hurry ve~ It's getting cold!

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**Doitsu_Tastes_As_Good_As_Pasta has left**

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******I_Love_Feli_Beer_And_Wurst has left**

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**I'm_More_Awesome!: **Worth it! I'm coming over!

**Oh_Sweet_Maple_Syrup: **O-okay... S-see you soon...

* * *

**I'm_More_Awesome! has left**

* * *

******Oh_Sweet_Maple_Syrup has left**

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**'Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER: **AYE AYE CAPTAIN!

* * *

**I_Sound_Great_Moaning_Alfred has left**

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******Murica_Is_The_Best_Hero_EVER has left**

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**Make_My_Nose_Bleed_Please:** Which house do I go to!

**French_Food_Is_The_Best: **Elizabeta I'll do one!

**Make_My_Nose_Bleed_Please: **Awesome! I gotta go call Japan now! We can do this!

* * *

**Make_My_Nose_Bleed_Please has left**

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******French_Food_Is_The_Best has left**

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_******Author's Notes:**_

******Question1: British slang in retaliation or accents across America?**

******I still need to learn British slang :P**

The first accent would be Southern, and my ability to do that is some like:

* * *

******Howdy y'all! Where in tarnation are y'all from?**

****** If yer from 'cross the seas in Britainia, Ima fixin' to ask y'all for the slang of yur people. **

******I reckon y'all all have slang that be purdy in its own way! and Ima fixin' to prove it! So send 'um in! Whether ye be a yung'in or a not-so-yung'in!  
**

* * *

******See, my Southern typing is really bad, I'm also working on Bostonian!  
********Sorry to the Southerners also. **

So! No matter what country or state or whatever you're from, post where you're from (vaguely) and a slang word or more! Please~ It'll probably get thrown in somewhere.

******For example, I'm from New England and I'll leave y'all with the word 'Wicked' which I NEVER use I swear!**

******There's a poll on my profile for accents/British retaliation! **

******Love,  
ELR**


	6. Hashtag

**Destroying the English Language Chapter 6  
Word Count: Not included be hashtags count as single words  
Published: October 15th, 2013 (Eastern time)**

**Base for every link: tinyurl ELRDEL**

**Issues? PM me or leave a review! The images are super cute, and you won't get a lot of this chapter if you don't use them. Then again, these never make sense to begin with.**

**Brought to you by Stomei97 because they gave the idea.**

* * *

**__****Current Chat: PrivateTime  
Chat Password: #ILoveIggy  
Mods: The_Supreme_World_Hero**

* * *

**The_Supreme_World_Hero:** #OMGLookAtThis #Cute #Doge _ELRDEL1_

**Damsel_In_Distress: **At least that's something like English.

**Damsel_In_Distress: **_ Bloodyhell Alfred, when did you change my name?_ Als**o **That dog is adorable.

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#YouWereInTheBathroom #IwillSaveYou #Adorbs #Puppy #DogWithABowTie #Aww #IWantThis #LifeIsn'tFair

**Damsel_In_Distress: **I'm not sure if I should be thankful you're using hashtags because I can figure it out, or be worried because you're using bloody hashtags.

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#Hashtag #BritishPeopleAreFunny #BloodyBritish #ComplicatedRelationship #Iggy

**Damsel_In_Distress: **I think I'm suppose to be offended.

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **_ELRDEL2_

**Damsel_In_Distress: **That's not exactly flattering love.

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#IloveMyCartoons #MyBFJustDoesn'tGetIt #TearingUsApart #SpongebobOrDoraTheGreatDebate #AdventureTimeOrRegularShowTheGreaterDebateHiddenB yTheGreatDebate

**Damsel_In_Distress: **What the hell?

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#BattlesHideOtherBattles #PiratesVersusNinjasIsAFront #RealBattleDragonsVersusUnicorns

**Damsel_In_Distress: **Uni would never fight a disgusting dragon, but the dragon would regret it if it got into a battle. Pirates always win, right love?

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#SoCloseYetNot #ObliviousBoyfriend #NINJAS #DRAGONS #UnicornsGetBurned #SneakAttack #Sexier

**Damsel_In_Distress: **You think ninjas are sexier than me?

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#NinjasAreHawtHawtHAWT #IheartNinjas #LoveLastsForever

**Damsel_In_Distress: **But are they sexier then me?

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#StupidQuestion

**Damsel_In_Distress: **Answer it please love.

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#CourseNot #OMGThisTotsDescribesHowICU #_ELRDEL3_

**Damsel_In_Distress: **Considering you love food so much I'm taking this as a compliment.

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#TakeItHowYouWant #IfYouKnowWhatIMean #IggyIsSexy

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#HowAboutThis #LOL #SoTrue #_ELRDEL4_

**Damsel_In_Distress: **You git! I normally talk in an accent!

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#Ooops #ScrewedUp #AngryBoyfriend #NeedAnotherCompliment #WhatDoIDo #HELPME #IloveYou

**Damsel_In_Distress: **Not quite there yet love.

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#ELRDEL5

**Damsel_In_Distress: **I preferred dogs than these compliments. That one wasn't even a compliment.

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#Itried #SpentForeverOnImgur #DYKImgurIsPronouncedLikeImager #YouShouldForgiveMeBecauseITried

**Damsel_In_Distress: **Let me respond in kind. ELRDEL6

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#OMG #JustUsedAGif #SaveForLater #Sexy

**Damsel_In_Distress: **I do use the internet you know.

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#IknowNow #OMG #OldPeopleUseTheInternet

**Damsel_In_Distress: **I'm not old you git!

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#JustFoundBadCountryPuns #NoneOfThemHaveToDoWithMe #PoorHumor #PunsForFuns #ELRDEL7

**Damsel_In_Distress: **You should feel bad for even finding those.

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#ProbsShould #Don't #WhoNeedsALife #IloveEngland #LoveAmericaMore #COUNTRIESROCK

**Damsel_In_Distress: **The_Supreme_World_Hero, is this really needed?

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#YOLO #SOCKS #YOLOSWAG #QuitBeingRatchet

**Damsel_In_Distress: **I don't know how to respond.

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#ShockedToSilence #IwinWhateverWeAreDoing #MURICA #MyStatesRock #I'mBiggerThanYou #MoreThanHalfAreLargerThanEngland

**Damsel_In_Distress: **It's not the size that counts, it's how you use it!

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#ThatIsWhatTheyAllSay #GirlProblems #OverUsedLine #IexpectedMoreFromYouEngland #Dissapointment #PoorBedLife #SoSmall

**Damsel_In_Distress: **Screw you you git!

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#PrettySureIDoTheScrewing #OneException #PirateEngland #JKWhatevs #FineSometimesWeSwitchItUp #Don'tTellHungary

**Damsel_In_Distress: **What was that? A confession? Not the way to go about doing it! Bloody hell, you'd think you've never apologized before!

**The_Supreme_World_Hero: **#ApologizesAreForWhimps #MyWayIsBest #BowToMe #LoveYouArtie:

**Damsel_In_Distress:** Love you too... I'm topping tonight ;D****

The_Supreme_World_Hero: #ReallyUnfair #SoStupid #Fine #IBetterBeAbleToWalk

_**Author's Notes:  
- There's a poll on my profile about what you'd like to see next! If either of those.  
**__**- This is short because I wrote it fast because it amused me.  
- The next chapter will probably be accents or slang  
- Currently accents is winning with one vote.  
- Vote now :O  
- I've been sending out personal thanks, but I think I fell behind with one group, so... Thanks to everyone who has favored, followed, and reviewed. I'm keep up now and making sure to pm everyone who favors/reviews~  
- I'm actually enjoying writing this story so far  
- Sorry for any errors in the hashtags.  
- Love for everyone who reviews :D**_

ELR


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